Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Can't watch it....but can't erase it....

I've always been an American Idol watcher, but I usually watch it faithfully at the beginning with all the crazy people and then I watch it faithfully at the end once it's narrowed down to the good people. Last season (when Jordan Sparks won), I watched it from start to finish and that was mainly because of my Daddy. I guess I went over to their house more during the week then - they had moved to their new house and he had gotten his big tv upstairs and wanted someone to watch it with him. Plus I was pregnant with Nina and Mark was in Memphis, so Ethan and I went over there a lot more. So I started that season and finished that season with Daddy. I had Nina on a Tuesday and that night we had it on in the hospital room but had like 25 people visiting (at the same time), so we couldn't watch it. But Wednesday night after church, Daddy came by (probably just to hold Nina) and we watched the results show. Then we were still at their house after we came home from the hospital, but before we left for Memphis, so we watched the finale together.

This past season, we both watched every episode and talked about it - either that night or the next day. We both loved it, but I mainly loved it because Daddy did. Sunday night the 18th, we sat on the front porch of their house and talked about watching the finale together that week. I had actually planned on staying at their house until Thursday, only because the finale was Wednesday night. That wasn't meant to be. Wednesday night after the visitation, we were all in the kitchen and Mark was on the computer and the results had been posted. I had to see. He would have been pleased with the winner! Later that week I was upstairs actually sitting in his chair and watching his tv and saw on his DVR that it was recorded on there....unwatched. I couldn't bring myself to watch it. Then once I got home, it had recorded on our DVR as well. Mark has asked me several times if I want to erase it or watch it. I still can't bring myself to watch it...but I can't erase it either...

13 comments:

Heather said...

Hey Mandy. This brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could just give you a big hug right now. I know you all are still hurting so much. I went to see your Mom yesterday at Meet the Teacher day & again this morning. I cried as I hugged her yesterday. We are still thinking of ya'll & I was just praying for you all last night as you were on my mind. Hang in there & big hugs from Georgia.....

Courtney said...

You made me cry too...I wish all the pain could go away for all of you. Love you and am praying for you.

The_Math_Teacher said...

Keep it for as long as you want. The Christmas presents that were waiting for Daddy under the tree when he passed away in the hospital were still wrapped and laying in my mother's bedroom floor a year later. Everyone has their own time line. Love you and thinking of you often, Gayle Swafford

Jodi Brinkley said...

Mandy,
My heart hurts for you. Your relationship with your dad was incredibly special. I think of you often and I think Gayle's advice sounds right on.

King Family said...

I am with them. Keep it as long as you need too. We love you here and you know we are still praying for you. Your daddy has angels to sing to him now.

Sandra said...

Love you, dear girl. Take all the time you want. You always did and always will make Mike proud. Love, Mrs. Sandra

The Unlikely Homeschooler said...

Mandy I just wanted you to know we have been praying for your family and will continue to do so!

Elizabeth S said...

Stephen's grandmother died last year. We had known it was going to happen for several days, so his dad would call or text us whenever something would happen, or when they thought it was about to happen. They were in Knoxville and we are in Murfreesboro, so we were going to jump in the car and head there when the time came. Anyway, when she died, he sent me a text message that said, "Meme just died. She is finally at peace." I can't bring myself to erase that either. I don't know what I'll do when I get a new phone. Anyway, you are not alone.

Julie Reagan said...

Mandy - I think of your dad often, but never knew he was a fan of American Idol until now. Thanks for sharing this memory.
Love and Hugs - Julie R.

Unknown said...

What a precious memory to have, Mandy. He sure loved his girls, didn't he.

Courtney said...

Hey Mandy, I read your blog tonight. Dad & I were upstairs watching American Idol on May 17th that Saturday night. He asked me if I ever watched American Idol & I said I did, sometimes. I knew he liked watching that. I love you & I know running into moments like that are tough. Thanks for telling me Hunter looks like me. It makes me happy to hear that. Before Hunter was born, I was on the couch on bedrest at home & I prayed that God would make him look a little like Dad, LOL. We can't to see You, Mom, Ethan, & Nina. Thanks for that comment! Love you so much!

Leslie said...

Mandy,
I hope you will continue to think about the fun times. That brings healing.We love your family!

Anonymous said...

I would keep it forever. In time, you will want to watch it again, but I would never erase it. Good memories help heal. Love and thinking of you and your family so much.